If you want to be a good business person, you have to know how to negotiate. There are a number of ways to do this, but a lot of people end up failing miserably with their attempts. To avoid falling into some of the traps of negotiating, follow the strategies listed below.

1 – Know Your Points ahead of Time
You need to think about your points of debate ahead of time. Make a list of your argument’s biggest features and keep them in mind at all times.

2 – Plan Your Approach
Figure out if it would be better to come across as the good guy or as the interrogator. The difference between the soft and hard approach will greatly impact how well the negotiation will turn out.

3 – Focus on Your Strong Points
From the points you made in tip one, form a plan that focuses around your best arguments. Bring them up at the beginning and work others in for support.

4 – Kindly Point out Their Faults
If there are noticeable faults in the competition, figure out what they are early on. Then bring them up in a way that makes you look knowledgeable, not mean.

5 – Stay on Track
A lot of people will try to change the subject in the midst of a negotiation. If you fear that things are going off track, refocus to the topic at hand.

6 – Keep Emotions at Bay
Don’t let your emotions get to you. Think of this as a purely business ordeal. If you get too riled up, you’ll only make yourself and your case look a lot worse.

7 – Remain Calm
Always keep your cool when you’re trying to make a point. Negotiations are frustrating, but you can get over that if you are strong enough to remain calm. Let your opponent be the one who blows up.

8 – Acknowledge the Other Side
Make sure that you do show respect to the other side’s point. You can’t go in without having the ability to make adjustments. You will never win if you aren’t willing to concede in some regards.

9 – Find a Compromise
Once you figure out what will work well from the other side, suggest a compromise that is mutually beneficial. Negotiate terms that work in your main points, as well as the comparable ones form the other side.

10 – Accept the Results
Once you have a compromise, accept it. Complaining will only make future negotiations worse.

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Everyone seeks to obtain and exercise control in a negotiation. Thus, the more control you have and exercise it the more enhanced your negotiation efforts will be. Since all parties involved in a negotiation are attempting to exercise more control throughout the negotiation, obtaining control can be a dicey proposition.

This article explores how to obtain and exercise more control in your negotiations.

Obtaining Control:

Control in a negotiation is perceptional. Thus, both negotiators will presume they have some form of control at different stages of the negotiation. To assess the degree of control you have versus that which the opposing negotiator has, try to understand his mindset. Some people are more easily controlled than others, simply because they seek to be controlled. They want you to lead them. You can exploit that aspect of their negotiation mindset but be cautious not to project that you’re attempting to take advantage of such a person. If you’re negotiating with someone of that ilk, oblige, by leading them. Make sure that they’re not giving the appearance to be led for the purpose of having you disclose your game plan for the negotiation.

Another way to obtain control is to act human. Saying, I’m sorry to someone in the appropriate situation humanizes you. It also sends the subliminal signal that indicates you don’t think you’re so great that you can’t make a mistake. While saying you’re sorry can be beneficial in a negotiation, you must also be aware that it can give the opposing negotiator a mental boost if he thinks you’re weak in doing so. Thus, when controlling a situation you must be aware to what degree expressing your sorrow enhances or detracts from your negotiation position.

Exercising Control:

In exercising control in a negotiation, you have to understand the purpose for which you seek control. Identify the psychological reasoning behind your efforts. Question to what degree you may be seeking control to sooth or enhance your ego (i.e. even the score from a prior negotiation, positioning so as not to be taken advantage of, matching the style of the opposing negotiator, etc.) Seek any and all sources that may be motivating you. It’s very important to understand your own mindset that drives you to seek control. Understanding your mindset will give you a sense as to why you engage in certain actions during the negotiation. Assess the mindset of the opposing negotiator for the same reason.

Body language Signals:

When considering the validity of the body language emitted by the opposing negotiator, observe a softer voice tone from one that may have been used previously, possibly sitting/pulling back from the negotiation table, and/or a lowered head. Such body language signals will denote a subdued mindset. Be aware when such demeanor changes. That could signal the beginning of efforts to regain control.

There are a lot of moving pieces when seeking, obtaining, and exercising control in a negotiation. The more observant you are per the above insights, the more attuned you’ll be to signals that indicate when to seek control and how to validate it. In so doing, you’ll become a more consistent winning negotiator… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Outside the glass door, a movement caught my eye. I looked up just in time to see the large red-shouldered hawk lift off the deck onto the railing, and then into the trees.

I have seen this many times before, he is a regular visitor, and he, or other members of his family, have a nest in our trees.

This time he took me with him when he flew.

For a fleeting split second, I felt something, realized something, completely different than I had ever felt or realized before.

I realized that although we try to explain how birds, bees, and butterflies fly, we really can’t explain the how of it. There are apparently rational explanations; their wings fit this way or that, wing size, wing velocity, but the answer truly is, we only have a speculative knowledge of how it works.

In that moment, as the hawk lifted, and took me with him, I knew why we couldn’t truly understand how these beautiful creatures fly. It is because we are trying to find the answer within a flat-line experience.

We don’t see the realm that they live in; the wings are really for us, for them flight is just another means of movement.

The inhabitants of Flatland knew only one dimension. The story revolves around a 3-dimensional object coming into view, which could not be seen by those who only saw 2-dimensions. When one of the characters has a perception shifting moment and sees the 3-dimensional object, he tries to explain to everyone else what he saw. However, in their flatland realm, they couldn’t see it, so assumed he was crazy.

In some ways, it resembles Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. In this story, a group of people have been restrained in such a way that they can only see one blank wall in front of them. On that wall, shadows of people walking behind them are reflected as they walk in front of a fire.

For the people who can only see that wall, that is the whole of reality. When one of them is freed, he sees the people, the sun, and the rest of the world. He returns to tell them what he has seen. They don’t believe him.

In both cases an enlarged and expanded perception revealed what is always present, but not visible in a limited perception of the world.

For that split second, I realized the hawk doesn’t fly in our “realm. ” He doesn’t fly in our experience of how the world works. He flies in another realm altogether where flying doesn’t require wings really, just a different perception of the world.

There have always been prophets, scientists, and spiritual seekers who consistently strive to shift their perception to see what is already present, and then tell us about what they have found. Sometimes we listen. Sometimes we act on what we have learned. Mostly, we ignore the possibilities.

Nature is a living example of the many realms that exists outside of our 4-dimensional world.

Watch any part of nature with the desire to know outside of the five senses and it will open the doors of perception to see the unlimited Reality that is already present. Sometimes this Reality “leaks” into our current life and shifts the outcome into more than is possible within the perception of human.

Imagine what we would live like if we consistently choose to see beyond the very limited abilities of our five senses. This choice could be our intent for our lives – to “know as we are known.” To follow the guidance of those that have told us that the Truth will set us free.

This is what the man in Flatland and The Cave tried to tell their friends and relatives. This is what the hawk helped me shift my perception to see.

Are you with me? Let’s be those that listen and follow, and shift to this spiritual perception of Reality, and then share it with those that are willing to shift with us.

Thank you my hawk friend. It was a perfect gift.